WiiBlog - No-Holds Barred Wii Blog Site

Stars in his eyes...

I guess it all started when Jerry let me borrow his Playstation and Bust-a-Groove that got me into rythym games. I played that game for hours, eventually getting me to beat it on medium - for as much as I like those games, I suck at them.

Fast forward to now, where I have Guitar Hero 3, in its wireless glory and all. Responsiveness was the main thing I was going to be concerned about, but even with the wireless it works admirably. After playing Rock Band, though, I have some qualms.

Where's the "create-your-own?" I'm tired of being a black man and a japanese girl, I want to be me, rocking out on Tom Morello's Arm The Homeless guitar. (By the way, "arm the homeless?" Yeah, best phrase ever.)

A great addition to the Wii, which finally seems to be getting some very good games. Now if they'd just release an RPG, I could put down my DS and Final Fantasy Tactics Advance...

A christmas gift from our friends, I received SMG and didn't really get to sit down and enjoy playing it until about a week after.

And everything you've read about it is true. It really is that good.

There are a couple caveats, though. There's still that insane voice acting on the part of Mario, almost no voice acting on anyone else's part, and the game can be a little trippy. Running and jumping upside down, for example, detracted the wife from enjoying it as much as she does playing Mario 3.

But other then that, its flaws are few and its qualities are many. The best part is, of course, playing the game with friends. But I only got to do that once - although an absolute blast it was. Plus, Mario in a bee suit! Fun stuff.

Yes, I know. It's been almost five months.

My sincerest apologies.

What's happened since then?

Super Mario Galaxy won Gamespot's Game of the Year award.
Guitar Hero 3 came out.
Metroid Prime 3 also was released.

Each will have their own upcoming entries.

So after annoying my new wife and winning a bet, I won a copy of Boogie, a game I've been following since Gamespot mentioned it. "Cool, I thought, "a game where you sing at it and have to dance and stuff!"

Yeah.

Although well-intentioned, this game is GAY. That's Capital G Capital A Capital Y GAY.

Not to say it isn't fun. Kareoking "Can't Touch This" sung by an MC Hammer ripoff is funny. And unlocking new hairstyles and clothes for my little cat guy is pretty neat. But I doubt I will ever hear the words "I challenge you to a video game sing and dance off!" spoken in my apartment. And the fact that the microphone it comes with has to attach to the Wii itself turns me off. Why can't it just attach to the remote? I hate being tethered by cables.

Although presented in a fun way, things like cutscenes that involve no movement, spoken voice, or anything besides redundant text spoil it. and the game is stupid easy, too. Whereas in Bust A Groove, for example, the game pitted you against another dancer, in Boogie you're all alone. Jesus, the cut scenes for setting up half the stages involve "I'll just (dance or sing) my heart out to this imaginary audience!"

However, I did have a blast with the music video feature. A Patrick the Starfish knockoff disco dancing to "It's Raining Men" in a rhinestone cowboy hat... Priceless.

Note - I originally had two things to talk about, but then the third managed to crop up as well, so here we are with a strikeout and an extra paragraph.

So since I've had my Wii these Miis that are lookalikes created from NBC's The Office have been milling around. I've got Michael, Stanley, Dwight, and I think maybe one or two more hustling about, annoying me when I bowl or watching me play table tennis.

There's no creator tag on them, though. So I'm not entirely sure where they came from. My Wii Friends list isn't extensive, but it does have a few people who all know and love The Office, so I can't ascertain the exact identity of the mystery mii manufacturer. Interesting...

Speaking of interesting, a recent Everyone Votes question was posed, "Do you sleep with your window open?" I answered no, since I live in the 21st Century and own an air conditioner. But what's fantastically interesting about it is the geographical correlation between open windows and closed windows.

Since this question was posed in the summer, a relation between open windows and latitude can be uncovered. The cooler the summer (Oregon, Maine), the more the windows are open. And obviously, in hot states such as Florida and Texas, where A/C is prevelant, the windows are sealed tightly. Mine haven't been opened in probably 4 months.

And the final (addended) point. Nick came over last night, and, being an avid golfer, immediately fired up TWPGAT07. He as Furyk and I as Moto, we dished out 18 holes of fervor before I kicked him out. Final score - Moto -4, Furyk +2. But for his first foray into the game, Nick did surprisingly well. He'll be watching my apartment (and my dog) for the next week while I POKER IT UP IN VEGAS BABY, so I'm sure he'll have a few practice sessions in for when I get back.

Bowser looks fucking AWESOME.

The game is chaotic, there are always shells and shit flying all over the place. As I've been examining the message boards about the game, it seems a set of very closely-investigated stratagem has developed. With terms like hammerspam getting tossed around, it vaguely reminds me of my days staring at Excel spreadsheets, discovering the mysteries of "damage mitigation," while trying to find the perfect vibro-ax in SWG.

Just a quick tip from what I've seen - Peach and Bowser look badass. Monty Mole and Hammer Bro have great special attacks. WaLuigi is just about as gay as ever.

And don't expect anything even remotely normal. See you on the pitch!

So after a few rounds with Meng, we head back to his apartment to play some Mario Party 8.
With Bowser (my favorite character ever) unselectable as a player character, I had to go with someone decidedly less dastardly and more comical. WARIO TIME!

What at first seemed to be a random game later seemed more the proverbial onion. Jumping and hitting blocks to buy stars and get coins... Woo. Until the candy factor is taken into account. Miserly as I am, I had accrued 2 stars and 59 coins... And then I found out what a Thwomp Candy is. I didn't want to lose half my coins! Position, it seems, is just as vital as stars, coins, and all the other flotsam that found its way onto Shyguy's train.

This onion further peeled away when I discovered that you get stars for shopping! It then becomes a game of predictionmixed with a healthy dose of our good friend Adam Smith. Do I save my coins for a star, I wondered, or should I buy a Thrice Dice candy to improve my shopping score and hope I land on the DK square, followed by another thrice candy to get to DK before anyone else does? Crafty. (I wound up in 2nd place)

Oh, and on the Wii? If you shake the remote your character says stuff. Shake it fore and aft, and Wario lets out a wet-sounding fart, followed by "Excuse me!"

Shake it up and down (as if masturbating a prone horse) and he calls everyone losers. After 6 beers, that was quite entertaining.

So I've been getting into Tiger Woods PGA Tour '07 and, after using a cheat code to give myself a sweet Oakley shirt, I've decided that I like this game quite a bit more then I originally did.

You see, TWPGAT07 (as I will now refer to it) was the first game I bought, since I felt it necessary that with a motion-sensing control I need a good solid golf game. Perhaps it was the unfamiliarity of the Wii Remote or the fact that I had drank about 14 beers, but the first play session went horribly wrong. There was much swearing.

However, firing it up now reveals a deep, interesting golf game, with all the nuances of the actual sport. Backswing? Check! Follow through? Check! Punch shots, Nike apparel, and me missing a 6 foot putt? Check, check, check!

Golf is a frustrating sport, but I know I'll keep going back to the real thing. And now, to Tiger Woods as well.

So the latest worldwide poll on Everyone Votes boiled down to brains and brawn.

Now, as the target demographic for Wii users is kids and old people, they're not much for using brawn. So I selected that, and predicted that would be the common answer.

Not so, Japanese! Now, I think this has to do with the fact that the Japanese have some sort of superiority complex when it comes to using their brains.

"Aso! Me rikey being smalt! Stupid Amelicans use backs, not blains!"

Right. Which is why they got a 50% correct prediction rate on "which do you use more - brains or brawn?"

So my buddy Kevin got Godfather Blackhand.

And yeah, I was thinking about getting Mario Party 8... But that would require friends.

So I guess I'll stick with Everyone Votes. (87.5% prediction rate)